Source: www.forbes.com
One of our deepest human needs is to feel cared for. As babies, without others’ care, we would not survive. Because of the energy necessary to develop a human brain, humans evolve more slowly than other animals. We are not capable of being independent until adolescence, and even then, our brains aren’t fully formed until our mid-20s. Because human beings are social beings meant to survive in groups, not as individuals, showing that you care about someone helps them feel included in a group that could be vital for their very survival.
At work, inclusive leadership is about showing you care. It helps people feel seen, heard, respected and feel a sense of belonging. Inclusive leadership cannot work if people don’t feel cared for. Feeling cared for is the basis for inclusive leadership.
How do inclusive leaders show that they care? They demonstrate care through consistent, intentional actions over time. Asking about someone’s day or family once or twice is not enough to show that you care, it has to be done multiple times in a way that feels authentic for people to genuinely feel cared for.
Inclusive leaders show that they care by checking in proactively, expressing interest in others interests and having their back when they’re struggling.
Check In Proactively
Check-ins need to be intentional and consistent for people to feel cared for. This is not a standing meeting or a one-on-one meeting, it’s often unscripted and unplanned. A proactive check-in is about noticing how someone might be feeling or trying to anticipate what’s going on in their world.
When I was a second shift operations and safety manager at a warehouse early in my career, I made it a habit to walk around the warehouse racks in the evenings for at least 15 minutes. I had no goal or objective in spending the time walking around other than to greet people and ask them how they were really doing. I got to know so many interesting facts about my team during those casual walks. I learned about their motivations, their interests, their families. People really opened up to me once they knew I didn’t have an agenda, especially when I continued to show up and check in with them proactively. After a few months of regular check ins, they began sharing priceless ideas on how to improve processes and safety. I learned more in those walks than I did in any other meeting. That’s why inclusive leaders get better results.
Express Interest In Others’ Interests
Most leaders don’t know their teams beyond professional interactions. In order for people to feel cared for, they need to be understood. A key part of being understood is knowing someone’s interests. Interest could range from hobbies, books and movies they enjoy, family, side hustles, pets and travel. Every person’s interests are unique. Get to know your team beyond the superficial details. Ask about their interests and listen intently to what they choose to share.
Our team is remote and has a team chat online where we share windows into our personal lives and interests. As the leader, I am very intentional and consistent about sharing glimpse into my personal life that help my team understand me better as a full human. For example, sometimes we’ll share pictures of our pets, or I will share photos of my children or they might share pictures of them doing one of their side hustles outside of the business or their most recent ski trip. It helps us understand each other better. It humanizes our team. As the leader hoping to be inclusive, I have to go first.
Have Their Back When They’re Struggling
It’s easy to be inclusive when things are running smoothly. It’s a lot harder in times of conflict, change or even crisis. This is when it’s most important to show up inclusively as a leader. People need to feel cared for when they’re struggling. Without support, people can feel isolated and fearful. In times of deep struggle, they may fear the worst like losing their job. This is why it’s important to reassure people that you have their back as an inclusive leader. Tell them what you know, explain what you don’t know and provide the support they need. It’s often not the Golden Rule treating people how you want to be treated in times of struggle, it’s the Platinum role where we treat people how they want to be treated when they’re struggling. Some people need time to process, some people want to talk early on, others just need to know you are there for them when or if they need you.
After the most recent U.S. Presidential election, I knew my team was struggling. We had talked about our hopes and they did not become a reality. While I was also struggling, it was important that I processed some of my emotions before engaging with them. I was then able to better center them in their struggle rather than making it about me and my feelings. My team needed to know that our business would survive, that they would have jobs and that we would figure this out together. Inclusive leaders can’t guarantee that things will be okay, yet they can reassure that they’re doing what’s necessary for the team to be okay.
Inclusive leaders show that they care by checking in proactively, expressing interest in others’ interests and having their back when they’re struggling. Feeling cared for is the basis for inclusive leadership, which helps people feel seen, heard, respected and have a sense of belonging.